Decision Day: Freedom After an Life With Out Parole Sentence

Editor's Note: Aaron Lomeli was originally sentenced to die in prison. He won an appeal to his conviction, and came home after nearly 17 years. He writes about what his journey to freedom means, and what awaits him. Aaron's wife, Yennely, attended participatory defense meetings at the San Jose hub for over 5 years before Aaron came home.

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Photo by Daniel Zapien

“I close my eyes and open them, I see my mother’s front yard.” “I close my eyes and open them, I see a prison yard.’’ “I close my eyes and open them and I see you present with me.’’

My name is Aaron. I am 35 years old. I just came home after being incarcerated for 16 and a half years in a Life Without the Possibility of Parole (LWOP) sentence. I committed the life crime at the age of 19 and through the 6th District Court of Appeal the sentence was reversed. I will never forget the day I received the news that the decision was in favor of a reversal. On this day I immediately broke down in tears, tears of truth. 

I had almost lost all hope in the system, yet through all the darkness of what a LWOP sentence amounts to, I still held belief. The reality is not believing meant that the support from my family, community, organizations, and friends would not reach its full potential in strength. I always knew it began with me. Being human, not perfect, and recently released from prison, I always manifest that I could still be a prosocial addition to any community that accepted me. 

Many things went right for my release to take place. At that moment I believe the system has began to open its eyes toward some injustices. However, many injustices are still intact. 

I would like to add that along with the outside community, the inside community played a big role in my development toward rehabilitation. Whether it was that LWOP running a Prison Industry (PIA) job, or that prison yard crew worker teaching you about landscaping methods, or that lifer facilitating college courses, groups, or sports, I was able to forge a path forward through the light many have shared. 

Moving along I would simply like to convey how my life was impacted by the court’s reversal. First off, I was able to tell my mother there was a chance I would come home. Through a phone call I recall her sobbing as she thanked her higher power in faith and relief. As I reflect upon this phone call, I was able to feel a 50 lb. backpack being taken off my shoulders. As I shared the news with my wife along with all those who were directly involved with pitching in support to see me home, I couldn’t help but to smile with genuine gratitude. 

It always felt like I couldn’t see a path home, although I struggled at times, I never gave up. I’ve witnessed what the outcome brings when someone gives up in prison. There are many ways to give up, but they all end in the same -- defeat.

Furthermore, on the decision day I felt a lot of relief, and sadness, and joy all at the same time. All three emotions at once, and I cannot truly explain as the news was relayed to me at 9:34am that morning of October 25th over the phone I froze, time froze, life froze as the true meaning of the news would begin to dawn on me in that moment and in the following weeks. News of such a big decision does not sit with you for a day, it takes weeks to process. Through it all I find myself writing this piece imploring that whoever reads it, that you simply believe me when I tell you that every day out in freedom and living in society, I relive the beautiful, surprising, amazing, yet sobering feelings that I encountered the day I was granted the court reversal and in the days after the news. I then began to feel a little bit of inner freedom knowing that I was not going to die in prison. Because prior to that I knew that no matter what I learned, no matter what I changed, no matter what I did I was going to die in a concrete cell. Therefore, concrete, hard wire, and coldness would accompany me til death. I would never be able to breathe free air. The weight was heavy, yet through it I made a decision to never hurt anything or anyone ever again. Becoming a pro-social individual was something I strived for as difficult as it was, I simply longed to belong, to live, to not be a zombie that was destined for a medical facility prison in my later years before death.